Photo by Nick Russam
Travellers to India are often overwhelmed by the curiosity of the locals here. You only have to sit down for a cup of chai (tea) before being bowled over with questions that in a western context would be considered too personal to ask straight off the bat.
After the customary “which country do you belong?” some typical questions are:
- “Are you alone?” – Indians are no strangers to travel, they often embark on pilgrimages to religious places usually with family or religious groups. Indian culture places great emphasis on the collective and the idea of travelling solo strikes most as incredibly bold!
- “Are you married?” – And if not why not?! Family is an important part of Indian culture and the idea of travelling without first settling your family life indicates different life values and something most locals struggle to comprehend.
- “How many children?” – And if you’ve not got around to thinking of family, they will be quick to encourage you don’t waste time on travel and concentrate on building a family. Living without social security, Indians draw much strength from the family unit and part of the idea of having kids is so they at least (because they can be sure the system won’t) will look after them in their old age.
The idea behind all these questions is to understand the context in which one travels.
The other day I visited a local ‘coir’ factory that specialises in processing the husk of coconuts into rope. I asked about the price of the rope and how this is measured. Before I got the answer however I was counter questioned on what I would be using this rope for. Why does this guy need to know whether I am using this rope to gather firewood or string up my underwear? The same reason the local shopkeeper wants to know what I intend on cooking for today’s lunch when I ask for a measure of lentils; to place things in context. In India people have been cooking using specific lentils for specific dishes for centuries. Recipes are passed through generations. My shopkeeper wants to ensure I don’t make the mistake of cooking with the wrong lentils and getting the texture of the dish wrong. Similarly the factory hand wants to ensure I have the correct weight and measure of rope for its intended purpose. Questions that might at first appear encroaching or irrelevant are in fact well intentioned. Often the question reveals more about the person asking the questions than the question itself.
The next time you find yourself in the grip of a stranger firing uncomfortable questions, take time to understand why the question is being asked. Try comprehending the intent of what is being asked and remember for each and every perspective there is its equal and opposite. Behind the string of bizarre and incessant questions lies the key to understanding how you can fit into a local context and how best you can relate to local people. Once you’ve cracked this code you’ll find your travels enormously rewarding!
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